30 April 2012

Foolish Atheism

I’ve noticed that some people get emotional about using logic and reasoning. Sometimes people get hurt while believing in God or scripture, and so they decide that it’s ok to become bitter, but they don’t see it as being bitter, and decide that only what they rationalize and logically assume is real is actually real. It’s like their thoughts go, “Well God, since you didn’t come down and stroke my fur and give me my vaccinations, fix my flat tire that one day and lower gas prices , mush up my food so I don’t have to chew and then spoon-feed me while entertaining me with car sounds, you must not exist.” “Screw the reasoning” they say, “that says there must be a God, I’d rather believe something that makes less sense but I can see for the most part, except for the large gaps that I must infer.”
Sure they try to sound very intelligent and use big fancy words in big long books, but dressing a monkey in a dress and teaching it to spin in circles does not make it a ballerina. They try to stand on their little podium that they believe to be at the pinnacle of humans and human achievement—the logical murder of God—and condemn Christians (for the most part Christians but other religions as well). But the truth is they are just loudmouthed and ignorant fools. It’s easy to confuse arrogance with intelligence, people like to follow power, and the well-versed bull-headed atheists have a certain appeal. They like to believe that the appeal is a reasonable one, but it’s more of an emotional one, similar to where gorillas respect the loudest gorilla that can beat its chest the hardest. And sadly, many are just people who got hurt somehow, and can’t figure out that God is not responsible for their problems and decide to blame God for their problems and decide He must not exist—nothing is more painful than a cold shoulder. People are emotional not rational; saying that to a rational atheist will probably get them riled up so be careful—they easily become angry.
Another thing that bothers me about atheists is that they think that Christians need their input on matters of the scripture and God when we really don’t. I frankly don’t give a rip about atheistic views. I've thought about them and I've heard all their "evidence" and it's not very good.  I’d just as soon someone slap my face than have to listen to fools tell me there is no such thing as God. At least the pain makes sense; I was slapped, therefore there is pain. So here is to all the atheists: I don’t care about what you think, and I don’t want to waste life on you unless you are willing to consider the possibility you are wrong. One day you will die, and one day I will die. At that point we will either know or not know who is right. Until then shut up or consul other fools like yourself. Heck, I really don’t care what you do as long as you leave me alone.
I’m sure I made any atheist really upset in writing this. They will probably try to say something that is supposed to make sense that proves me wrong. Probably some emotionally void piece of writing in which they say they were seeking the truth and studied many religions, but the only thing that makes sense in light of all the evidence is atheism. That’s all well and good, but I’ve done the exact same thing, and I came up with there is a God. Sorry about that. If you are an atheist, I do not respectfully disagree. I disrespectfully disagree. I've been burned by arrogant atheists enough.There are times for nice friendly disagreements, but I’m tired of being treated like an idiot for being humble and wise enough to believe what my mind’s eyes see better than my two eyes do.
There are some atheists that I can tolerate, but merely tolerate. According to the Bible, anyone who says there is not God is a fool. Fool is not beyond hope, but I won't spend much time on you. Life is short. Your's too.
So what do you think? Ever had some arrogant atheist push you the wrong way?

27 April 2012

Tears, Sun, Love

Through a tear-filled field of somber clouds laden with the burdensome load of rain, the sun sluggishly pulled on its trousers like an old man one leg at a time. Then, with reserve that lacked all motivation, as though pausing to muster a strength from within, the sun rested behind the curtain of rain while the day yawned on slowly amid the dreary greyness. The attitude of the sun seemed to soak into the thoughts of those who trudged through life below among the mud and left the heart cold and damp, a feeling that was reflected on everyone’s faces, which were further reflected from the pooling puddles that formed.

But, with a swift motion, like an abrupt but welcome change in symphony from lacrimoso to allegro the sun broke through the clouds with a shout of brilliant light that rang out fluidly with a triumphant feeling that rinsed out the gloom that the morning rain had poured out into hearts. The sharp brilliance with its piercing radiance cut through and exacted out the heaviness like no word spoken or deed done could ever feign to. The simple and forgotten elegance of a sunrise or the outpour of light from a blue sky has no equal in its own unique natural way.

To look up into the blue eyes of a clear sky is seldom seen and appreciated to the extent that it deserves, but even when spoken of it all its poetic glory fades into the background of life when compared to the eyes of a loved one. Many things can touch a heart, but only love can fulfill the heart. 

26 April 2012

Today We Fight

When confronted with the volley of possible ways to reconcile the simple question, “Why do bad things happen?” it becomes difficult to sort through the mess of logical explanations, views, and theological considerations and arrive with certainty at the truth that answers the seemingly simple question. Regardless of the difficulty in understanding why war, why torture, why pain and death. Why do some live happy lives and others die slowly in anguish? It is easy to empathize with the pain because we all, even when we have lived a great life, have felt pain of one form or another. We all suffer together. The whole world suffers together. The point I’m making is not that the world is a messed up place. That is obvious. The point I am making is this, the explanation is actually simple even though it often gets muddled together and weighted down with debate and confusion and misunderstandings.

The simple answer is this. There is good and there is evil. God is good, Satan is evil. We have two options: choose good—choose God or choose evil—choose Satan. We are then born not into a life of peace, but we are born in the middle of a war, and we are enlisted by our own birth certificate into the war. We must simply say what side of the war we wish to fight on. Fight for God or against him. Obviously there will be suffering in a war. That is most all of what a war is about. The reason there is suffering is because God’s plans for perfection, of love, have been thwarted by a sadistic and perverse evil being Satan.

The good news is that this is a war. Wars end. Wars are won eventually. Where suffering and pain filled the air in piercing screams, fell to the earth in tears and blood, and flooded the air with the stench of death, there are now green fields and trees and flowers and it is beautiful. There is no way to say though that somehow the way things are justified the past. I’m not saying tragedy is ever a blessing or gives rise to anything pleasant without also mangling it. Good does not come from evil or pain or suffering, it merely is strong enough to exist in spite of it. The reason why us being in war is a positive thing is because it means that we can do something. We can fight. We can defeat evil. If we are part of the war than we can either fight or coward down and wait for the enemy to come. The war will end. There will be a day when the sound of war ends and the triumphant and joyful shouts of victory will rise to heaven. Death will at last me killed itself and so also its afflicting power over us.

So, yes we are in a world in war. But the war is going our way, even when it’s night and too dark to see what is happening. Even when a wave of attacks strike us or outflank us for a few moments. The war will end, but that is no excuse to hide from it. Take root and stand fast. Don’t faint or grow tired. Fight until the death. Let’s not give any more ground to evil. If you are on God’s side, stand for Him like He stands for you. Pray, put on the whole armor of God, and fight, fight, fight!

22 April 2012

Fate Should be Tried for Murder

The idea that the world and you are ruled my a predetermined blueprint that ensures everything has, is and continues to occur according to a plan offers comfort to countless people. Personally I have no fate, no destiny, no purpose that I will fulfill as a result of decisions not my own. You see, there is any room in reality for fate to exist. There is no room within my common sense to accept a belief that everything that happens, happens for a reason. In fact, that idea is very terrifying to me. If everything happens for a reason, then that means that horrible events such as the holocaust happened by and according to the intentioned purpose of someone (some may argue something, but the very idea of a plan indicates that there has to be a planner, someone who sets things into motion). The fatalistic concept of reality does not offer any rational purpose for life, so I assume that people indulge in the idea of fate because it offers comfort. Yet, I ask how can the fact that people are victimized by horrible catastrophes offer comfort. Premeditated murder is worse than accidental murder or crimes of passion. Why is it comforting to know that your child was supposed to get hit by the drunk driver and killed? It does not make me angry when someone accidentally steps on my foot, when they do in on purpose it’s a different story.
Even if there was fate, then you should always decide to not believe in it. If you don’t believe in fate, and you are fated to live a certain path, then no matter what you “choose” will be fate anyway. So you may as well believe there is no such thing as fate and at least believe that you can change things. Worst possible outcome is that there is fate, and you don’t believe in it because you were fated not to, right?

17 April 2012

Crying Love For a Stranger

The moment when you realize that you have wasted almost your entire life up to that moment. That instant when you realize that ninety-five percent of your life has been spent on distractions from life. In that moment, you know that tears are bitter and salty tasting, and you know what it feels like to run out of tears. You know what it feels like to hear your very own heart scream and wreath in pain. You know that something is different about you. You know that you don't ever want to be the same as you were before. You hate what you were before in that moment because you were living for yourself. And the realization hurts so bad that you die inside, but the death does not leave you lifeless. No that moment when you die inside to the person that you were marks the beginning of your life--your real life the way it should have been lived all along.

The pain of that moment can only be written by a heart in its very own blood. The pain is not a pain brought about my anything happening to you. The moment teaches you that being hurt yourself is not bad at all. Wounds heal. No, the pain is more potent and more real than any pain you can ever feel for yourself. This pain that I'm telling you about is the pain of love. Not romantic love, not husband and wife, brother and sister, or even mother to infant love but rather the love of God for someone who does not believe they deserve God's love and you feel for them the way that God does.

If hurts to feel love like God does. It hurts so much. It hurts to see people hurting and in pain and to love them. It hurts to know that people hate themselves. It hurts to know that people choose to believe a lie rather than believe God. Rather than accept God's love, rather than accept God's hand that offers help, they accept a lie. It hurts to see people look at themselves and judge condemn themselves on trivial things that culture and peer-pressure do but should not. Only God has the right to judge. Only God should decide who is deserves love.

God has decided who he loves, and He did decide who is deserving. He chose you. He chose us. God has judged us righteous and blameless if we accept Him and the freely given gift. He has said, “Come to me and I will give you rest. Come to me and I will show you my love. I will pour out a love in your heart so much that you can't begin to describe it. Come, let me dry your tears. Let me lift you on my shoulders. Come into my house and let me prepare for you anything you want. Take rest I will provide. Just ask me and I will do for you. You are more precious to me than all the earth, the stars, the moon, or the sun. I even gave up my own son for you a stranger that did not know me. It grieves me to see you suffer. I cry for you. I cry with you. I see your pain. I see you always and I beg you please, please come to me. I have given everything so you can come to me. Why don't you come. Why don't you hear my call. I hear your calls, hear mine for you. Come to me. Come and take my help. Why do you listen to the enemy. Why do you accept lies over my love. Don't reject me, I love you and I do not reject you. I want to bring you into my family. I am a good father to my children--those who seek to dwell with me. I am not a father like any father you have ever known or seen. I am a father who is only loving, I am a father who is love.”

But despite God's pleas for us to take His outstretched hand and accept His love and righteousness, some accept the sharp edge of a knife and the blood of self-inflicted wounds instead. Some take the hand of a cold iron gun and the hot bullets into the heart. Some waist away on drugs and alcohol. Some languish in bitterness, anger, fear. In the moment when you realize that those people and their pain needs you. When you realize that people are on their knees reading themselves their own last rights and God needs your help. When you need to bring God's love to them because they don't even have the strength to bring themselves there, and when you realize that you have not been doing what you ought to be and people are suffering because of it--it hurts bad. When you love like God does, it hurts. It's a deep searing pain, like a fire inside. God's love is burning to get out. It's clawing in every direction. It needs to get free and help. It's frantically searching for a way to hold the hearts of the broken together.

That's why it hurts so much in that moment of realization where the mind meets the heart and the heart is holding God's love hostage. God's love does not leave Him without returning something to Him. It's the most painful feeling to hold back God's love. If God has placed His love in your heart, let it heal others. Let God's love work. Don't stop God's love from kissing away the pain from one of His children when they fall down. Don't hold back God's love. He gave us a gift that is meant to give. If you know the pain that God's love when detained causes, you know the pain. It hurts to do things wrong. It should hurt you to not walk in love, to not bring God’s love and helping hand to those He stretches it out to.

Still Look Better Than Ever

See you by chance on the sidewalk
It’s been weeks since we last talked

I say it’s good to see you here
In my heart I always kept you near

Small-talk about work and weather
You still look better than ever

You ask how I’m doing these days
I fake a grin, good in most ways

We chat for a few minutes more
There’s something that I can’t ignore

Some seconds of awkward silence
There is still something off balance

I can’t keep back what’s in my heart
I say, I’d go back and restart

I’d go back to the beginning
The love plus the loss still equals winning

You don’t know just what to reply
Suddenly you can’t look me in the eye

We stand in silence near the street
I start to feel my own heartbeat

It's clear you don't feel like I do
Your love was a lie, mine was true

You are alright watching me bleed
You are fine, you think you've been freed

But, someday you will see what's gone
I won't wait longer, just move on

The love I gave was never returned
Now I know what pain had for me to learn

11 April 2012

The Decay of Good is Positive Motivation

What is it about existence that makes everything so negative? Everything seems to roll downhill. It takes a lot of effort to make someone happy and then they so easily go back to being unhappy. Beautiful things take hours to paint, ugly things are quick. It’s easy to think of a hundred things to write about that are negative, but difficult to think of ten that are truly great. It’s as though everything wants to be good, but is overpowered by the tendency of everything to become bad. Bad ideas are easy to think of, good ideas difficult. Bad is favored over good. Bad things are constantly replenished from good things, and good is constantly turned into bad. Yet, it is only the small amount of momentary good that we painfully manufacture that encourages us to continue on.

Without good relationships, life would be unbearable. Yet, look how much effort goes into making and maintaining a good relationship. The best relationship is imperfect at best, but we stick with them because they still have good in them, and we need good.

What about a nice place to live? They don’t just spring up and exist without repair.
Food, does not just grow on trees oddly enough. Food must be cultivated too.

The list goes on and on.

Time is even against us. We fight and fight until we die to stay young. Everything is against us being happy and healthy. We can’t win. Unfortunately looking at things for how they are also does not make life easy and fun.

The point in all of this? No, it was not to be depressing. In all of this work and drudgery that is life there is then the choice: take whatever is given to you and hope it’s good, or make what is given to you into good. The only guarantee for having any good in your life at all is if you make it that way. You are responsible to bring good where you are at. Even if it is only for a brief fleeting moment. Being able to recognize the difference between good and most everything else makes us responsible for good. It’s our job. It’s not an all bad responsibility. At least we get to decide and recognize the difference between good and enjoy the good that exists. 

The Future Could Become Our Canvas

To you my heart is an open door
I’ll lay all of my pride on the floor

I’ll be honest, tell you everything
For you I will let my secrets sing

I will let you have all of my heart
But before I go ahead and start

I’d like to speak what I have to say
See if there’s time for me in your day

Are you willing to give it a chance?
Am I worth to you that second glance?

Is there a hope that I am the one?
Will I always just be a someone?

We could be more than either of us
The future could become our canvas

Is there a place this feeling can go?
Is there some room for a love to grow?

You have a choice only you can make
Don’t lie to me for mine and your sake

I won’t just give my heart away
I need to know what it is you say

This is your choice to decide and choose
There are many chances that you lose

It’s now or not ever, I won’t wait
Decide if love will grow or abate
It's your destiny to choose your fate
There is a time though when it's to late

08 April 2012

Easter--Resurrection Sunday

To me Easter is the day we celebrate the fulcrum of all of mankind’s hope—all our hope rests on the death and resurrection of Jesus the messiah. While I don’t really like the name Easter or believe that today was when Jesus arose from the dead, I do love the fact that as families, groups, and for the most part as a nation, we pause and celebrate Jesus’ victory over sin, Satan, and death.

It’s easy to get lost to the meaning of the celebration among all of the traditional festivities. If you take a minute to think about what all of it is actually about and consider the greater ramifications that have much more than echoed but reverberated louder and louder through the pages of time, then you should get a chill down your spine, a tear of joy in your eye, and a feeling of immeasurable love in your heart.

At the time of Jesus crucification and death, the grief unbearable. Here was the man who the hope of existence rested. He was a man unlike any other, he walked in perfect harmony with the footsteps of his Father. I don’t think that we can fully fathom the type of man that Jesus was. To just look in his eyes must have been like looking into a tidal wave of love. Can you imagine the way he would have spoken, to hear his voice? When he died, for a few days, it seemed like that hope was lost—buried beneath the hate, violence, and death he unjustly incurred for being perfect. When he died the earth shook and the sky went dark.

But, he did not stay dead. God raised him from the dead and with him all of us who’s hope is in him—he arose and us with him into a new life incorruptible. The record of our wrong is no longer held against us but pardoned completely. Easter is the day we celebrate the greatest victory and triumph. 

06 April 2012

I'll Be Glad When the Old Racist People Die Off

Racist people bother me. They seem to have anger and resentment towards whole races of people without actually considering why. I’ve never heard a racist person actually give a reason why they don’t like the race they dislike. The ones who I’ve spoken with don’t ever give any explanation. In their minds it’s as though they are white and other different colored people are not white, and that means that they are criminals or stupid or in some other way less human than white people. I’m white, but I’ve worked and talked with people from a lot of different races, and a lot of the ones I’ve spoken with are great people. Most people are good from all races. Some people are bad. I don’t understand why or how racism still survives today. Honestly I don’t understand why anyone ever believed or went along with it.

I’ll be glad when the old racist people finally die off and leaves my generation alone. If you are an old idiot, don’t try to talk to me about how great you are because you are white. I don’t care. In fact, because you think you are better than other people because of a superficial thing such as skin color, then you are probably worse than the people you are hating. Seriously, just shut up. The only people who want to talk about black people being bad people are in fact bad people. So, please don’t speak to me ever in a racist way. I like people, white , black, Asian, or any combination of them. There is no difference say for cultural differences. There is no intrinsic inequality which you can cite to justify your condemnation. So put a cork in your face about people of colored skins, and grow up and get smart. And please just shut up. 

05 April 2012

Being Shy is Being Selfish

Everyone knows those shy, awkward kids that grow up to be shy awkward people (maybe you are one). They just don’t know how to engage us the way we expect. Getting them to open up to you is like pulling a rusty nail out of the wall. If you are lucky, you will get one-word answers to questions. And, forget them ever speaking to you out of their own free will--except when peril requires it.

So you know the type. Well, those people annoy me, just drive me mad. I hate trying to talk to someone like that. You walk across the room to where they are and try to strike up a conversation, and they just leave you hanging there awkwardly. If you are getting judgmental on me right now, wait and let me explain why they annoy me. They annoy me for a couple of reasons. First, I used to be so terribly shy. I had no social grace. I was pretty much like an elephant in a kid’s pool--no social poise at all, did not belong. And just like an elephant no matter what I did, I just didn't fit.  There was a serious problem with me. I’m not saying that I’m the social butterfly now. I’m probably more of a social flying or some other moderately social creature. The point in all of this is not to boast in my modest achievement in transitioning from elephant in kid's pool to flying squirrel on the social awkwardness scale. No, this is just one of the reasons that socially shy people bother me. They remind me of how I was; they are mirrors that reveal who I was, what is in my past, and to an extent what I still am. I don’t know about you, but I doubt you like to see one of the worst sides of you starring at the floor and not making eye contact with you when you look in a mirror. It’s worse than when you see one of your worst sides staring right back at you, at least the negative side of you has the courage to look you in the eyes in other cases.

But the main reason that shy people bother me is because they are stupid. (Remember that I was and still am in this category; don’t get defensive I’m talking to me here too). I say stupid because they are willing to listen to lies rather than the truth. They trade so much for so little. I was willing to believe that I was so weird and awkward that no one would want to say anything to me. I was willing to accept as a fact that I was somehow less of a person than other people and therefore did not know how to engage people.

I was and am somewhat of a cowherd. I had a view of inequality with everyone else to the extent that I could not drag myself to speak to anyone because fear swallowed me up. To be so afraid of looking stupid that you make an idiot of yourself is certainly an indicator of being a coward. I’m not saying having fear makes you a coward; I’m saying allowing fear to live your life while you watch in terror from the sidelines not livening and not doing what you really want to—that makes you a coward. That was me. And that is what I see in other shy people. Perhaps some forms of shyness are rooted and based from some other problem, but the main reason for mine and many is just simple fear, which itself stems from the idea that you don’t fit in and are going to look stupid.

It’s a terribly selfish thing to think that way. Shyness bothers me now that I’ve actually thought about it rather than just live within it and it within me. Now that I know what it is to be shy, I realize that it is a disease of the “I”. What I mean by that is that to be shy means to be consumed in the thought of you. It means thinking about others only in the light of how they are going to see and look at you. That is the epitome of selfishness and must be changed.

When I realized what it meant for me to be shy, that it essentially meant that I was self-centered, it was obvious why I was shy. People are not supposed to think of themselves only. That is wrong. Of course I did poorly in social settings, I was doing things wrong. So, I decided to quit thinking about myself and think about others. Then I was not thinking about myself. When I didn’t think about myself, it was impossible to become afraid of how I was presenting myself to people because I was concerned with the person that I was speaking to. It turns out that a huge part of having a conversation with someone is just listening to them, so there is really not a big worry about trying to figure out what to say—unless you are speaking to a shy person and have to carry the whole conversation of course.

So, what can you do for a shy person? Talking to them is really probably going to scare them a lot. Not talking to them is going to make them glad but also sad that no one cares about them. Neither of those is ideal. So, it's the best to talk to them even though it is difficult for you. It was people who genuinely cared about me taking the time to speak to me that made me realize that being social means thinking of other people and trying to find something that they can talk about or need to talk about. That made me realize that in order to do that, I had to be thinking about them and not me. Then everything became clear. Then it took and is taking about two years of really hard and terrifying work to change from where I was to where I am now. Habits and ways of thinking do not easily change. So it’s important to be patient.

Shy people know they are shy, don’t point it out. That will only make them think more about themselves and see themselves as being shy. It takes a lot of love for a shy person to become un-shy, but it is worth it. I am almost a fully functional person now. I can see the future in sight when I won’t have to think about “I” but can instead think about and help others, maybe even with getting over being shy. That would be a nice and unforeseen twist to the story that began with me on the other side of the table. Life is great; sometimes it goes places you never expected it to go.

So, if you are shy like I was, stop thinking of yourself as shy, and stop thinking about yourself. It's important to analyze yourself so you don't live in oblivion to a problem, but it's easy to get carried away. Don't over-think yourself. When you do think of yourself, think of yourself in terms of what you have to offer the person in a positive way. You absolutely have something to offer, you just need to realize what it is. 

02 April 2012

What Denial?

I’d rather remain in the pain and anguish,           
Just maintain the lie that I call love and miss

Keep pretending that everything is fine,
Keep ignoring all the indications and signs

I don’t even care that ignorance is not bliss
It still feels like love when compared to this

When I think that you decided to leave
I find that it’s impossible to breathe

I’m denying to believe what truth hints
And I can’t understand where our love went

It’s easier to live an illusion
Than to admit this is the conclusion

Blindness is brighter than all the sunshine,
When I could honestly think you were mine  

I go on like nothing is really wrong
Turn up the radio and sing along

Laugh like life is fine, put a smile on
Dress and act the part, I know how to con

So believe me when I lie, I’m OK
I found a way to live in yesterday

Time can’t take back all my sweet memories
My falling tears are not simple summaries
I can’t let go of what you mean to me
So I’m here like all my dreams came to be

01 April 2012

Consider You Are Wrong

There must be a reason for everything we tell ourselves. Everything must happen for a reason. There is no room for random within the set walls of reality; if you wish to indulge on the irrational, you must be willing to either give up sanity or to live only in your dreams because there is no room for nonsensicalness within the bounds of true existence. It must be a human property, part of what it means to have rational minds. We must find the rational explanation for everything or at the very least delude ourselves or allow ourselves to be deluded into believing something that is irrational under the pretense, although it is false, that it is in fact rational. It is extremely un-rational to allow our senses to be misguided into believing things that are irrational, which is the greatest irony of the rational minds. Our minds do not allow us to maintain irrational thoughts as true, yet our rational minds do allow for other means of accepting contradictory understandings. It is possible to maintain the belief in two mutually exclusive doctrines within one singular human mind, and then protect that incongruence with stubborn conviction that the doctrine is correct even when it is wrong.
Rational thinking is fallible and gullible. Even those with brain-stems rooted, as they believe, only in the rational bedrock of the cosmos are surly filled with holes enough to be used as a sieve. I’m not suggesting we shed the burdensome cloak of rational thinking and streak about in the fanciful whims of a free mind, but rather we look and treat our minds with a little meekness with the realization that we do not have everything figured out and squared away. Our minds are not file-cabinets. The mind is bigger and more complex—like science in an artistic way. There is no simple summation of the mental workings of man, we are too complex; I feign no solution except to take as a possibility that you are wrong about something from time to time and to think about why you believe and think the way you do or did. Sometimes emotions disguise a line of reasoning in fancy cloths while beneath is just a manikin and not a body at all. There are many reasons and ways that we can be misguided by our own minds. It’s important to consider the way you think and be ready or else you may one day discover you believe many things that are wrong—or worse—never realize that you are wrong.

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