You Listen for Me

You listen for my voice always. You hear my falling tears in a crowded room. You see my heavy heart from behind hearty laughter. You know the pain that pulls at me. You know what I am. I cannot hide in the thickest darkness, your piercing beams of love cut to my marrow. There is no escaping the convicting power of your love. There is no shame in shouting your name. Everywhere you are needed, everywhere you are rejected all day long. Yet you do not take back your outstretched hand. How must it hurt you to love so much, and to be loved so little. How much strength it must take to be anchored in love to a people who drift from you like the ocean tide. You traded perfection for folly.

From darkness to light, from hate, to peace and love. I would that I would grow up to be a son by nature more than by name. I would that I was strong enough to stand with you while the tide came and went around me. I would that I never grieved you with sorrow again. I would that your love for me did not require so much forgiveness. I want to be love for you and with you. To love like you love. But you see my sorrow, know my pain, my weakness. My heart wants to want you more than I know how to let it.  My heart cries out within me. It shouts at me. But I don’t listen to it. Help train my heart.