12 March 2012

I Just Don't Care

Apathy is a tomb which one chooses to lie down in while there is yet air in one’s lungs and a heartbeat in one’s chest, while there are still years yet to be lived. Apathy is an enemy. I think that we choose apathy because it is a painless solution to problems that are otherwise painful to fix. Rather than care, or have an opinion, it is a simple solution to avoid the discomfort, pain, or whatever problem may be associated with caring and just be apathetic.
The question then becomes, is it better to feel nothing than it is to feel hurt. Those who believe that the answer to be yes in an extreme sense choose to opt out, not just of emotions, but life all together. Yes, I am saying that suicide is the worst case scenario of apathy, the point to where continuing to live is a discomfort to the extent where nothing is a more agreeable choice than death. I am, then, saying that apathy is a form of suicide. Apathy is choosing to kill something, a part of you. Apathy is the decision not to care, not to have an opinion, not to strive and hope and dream and work to be whatever it is that causes fear. Apathy is an excuse not to do the things that should be done operating on the basses of avoiding pain. It is permission slip to do nothing.
The next question one could ask is why is living in apathy towards one or more things bad? Why is feeling pain good? Why would it help anyone to be open to hurt? The answer is simple. In order to get something, something must be given first. That is the general rule. Money does not show up for nothing, even in the case of winning the lottery, one still had to buy the ticket, even in the case of finding a winning ticket on the street, it still took caring enough to stoop down and pick up the ticket to see if it was a winning ticket. The same principle is true for relationships. You will never one day find that you have a deep relationship with someone who you did not know the day before. Relationships take being interested in cultivating something that was is not there before. It takes saying and doing many things. Trusting someone with details that could be used as a dagger to pierce all the way to the heart, but the potential reward is even greater than the pain. You can’t walk through doors that you don’t first open. If you want to open a door that could lead to love, you must be ready to face the many other things that could be behind that door. But, that is all life is, it’s opening whichever doors you wish to out of millions of possible ones, and it is not always possible to know what stands behind the door.

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