The other night I was praying before bed per habit, but during the day I had allowed busyness to consume my peace and overrun the priorities that I thought I had firmly established in which God rests on the highest pinnacle among my values and thoughts. So, I found myself in a stupor of exhaustion after being thoroughly thrashed by a day spent relying on myself and spending myself out foolishly rather than take a minute to slow down and take God’s helping hand that is always outstretched towards His Children. In the moment of realization I started to pray for people other than myself, partly because I felt guilty before God for not giving Him the time He deserves, and secondly I was thinking in the background that I could make it up to God if I showed some humility and esteemed others’ needs higher than my own.
I was laying there eyes closed praying, and then it hit me that I was completely wrong in what I was doing. First, praying for others to make up for what I did was wrong. Second, God does not need us to “make things up to Him” he is big enough to take whatever we do wrong and steadfastly love us and forgive us. Third, I was somehow thinking that God would not recognize my heart in the matter and see what I was doing. After realizing what I did, I could not help but be mad at myself.
It was as if I was trying to outsmart God. God can’t be outsmarted though. You can’t really make things up to God. When we do things wrong, all we need to do is recognize it, tell Him you are sorry, and then do everything you can to change whatever it is about ourselves that caused us to err. That’s it. We don’t need to pray more, pray for someone else, or anything else. And no matter what, you can’t trick God into not seeing what it is you are doing. God judges us on our hearts, that is what He values—not outward actions. Outward actions are good if they are good, but good done for the wrong reason is not an acceptable offering to God.
Have you ever been there? Can you relate to me?