Time is in the Way

Time and space may stand in the way,

but that can’t erase the feeling I wake up with every day

My heart races as I walk the streets searching faces to find you,

and I long for when your heart embraces mine too

I’m slowly falling apart at the seams more each day,

And I live each day chasing after dreams of some day

You are out there now, hoping for a heart that’s giving

and ready to grow the love that’s worth living

Don’t give-in and give-up searching for the right one,

The one that is right now out there looking for you

Keep your chin up and cheer-up and eyes open,

And if you fall down get back up again and keep going

I don’t want to miss you when finally do pass by,

And then have to live each day missing you until I die

You may like these Goes Without Saying, Time is in the Way if you liked this

God's Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

Recently I made the decision to sit down in an uncomfortable seat and dine with anxiety and fear. Pushing the comfort-zone as far as possible is an important part of life, and particularly to mine where what I want to do is far out of my reach unless I run to it—through much uncomfortable territory. I found myself realizing I was anxious and fearful, which is a step in the right direction because at least I have the presence of mind to realize my own state of being. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like being fearful. That is not the way to live life. That is not the way things ought to be. So, being a problem solver, I got to thinking about what fear is, what drives it, and how can I stop from becoming afraid.

The verse, 1 John 4:18 came to mind: “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” I started thinking about what that actually means. First off, it tells me that when I experience fear, I am not being motivated by love like love should motivate me. It also says that when doing and being only what is loving—is to be perfect. Several other verses about God and Love came to mind. 1 John 4:16 “So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” The part of the verse that really came to mind was “God is love.” The other verse that came to mind was 1 John 4:19, “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

It was a confrontational thought, because being fearful means I don’t know how to or am not being loving, and that means that I don’t know God, at least not completely. It also means that God is not abiding in me as He should—because I am separating myself from Him.

So, fear is being unloving and stepping away from God. But, what to do? Where was I going wrong? In what way was I not being loving. I believe verse 17 clarifies and ties together the point in verses 16, 18, and 19. Verse 17 says, “By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world.” In verse seventeen where it says “by this is love perfected,” is referring to God’s perfect love. Remember, we love because He first loved us. We can love because we know that God loves us perfectly even when we don’t love perfectly.

When fear starts creeping in, rather than think about punishment—embarrassment, getting fired, and so on—I should realize that God loves me perfectly. That should give us such confidence that we don’t have to fear. Why be afraid, when in the presence of the mighty and wonderful God and creator of existence I am loved.

Perfect love does cast out fear, but not my love, and not any person’s love. The perfect love that casts out fear is God’s love for me, God’s love for you.

This makes perfect sense right? Does a child feel fearful when held in the arms of a loving father or mother? No! God is an all-good, perfectly loving father. His perfect love casts out fear. 

Love People to Death, Love People from Death

It struck me as odd this morning in my daily reading and meditation of several Bible passages how biased the typical view of love is. It’s as though there are two main groups of people within Christianity—at least that are most noticeable—there are those who are loving to everyone and then there are those who are loving to everyone. I will clarify what I mean by that in just a moment, but let me first say that both are very sincere and trying oftentimes with a lot of heart and effort to do the right thing. I’m not trying to put anyone down, I’m trying to put down a misunderstanding with the hope of lifting people up by sharing an insight.

So now for the clarification that I promised a few sentences ago. What I meant in saying that there are two groups of people that are by definition, trying to do the same thing, was that both views are right in that they recognize that love is the right answer. However, both have a different understanding of what love is or what it is to be loving to people. Me, being a very disagreeable sort of thinker, I am saying that both are off the mark of what it is to be loving and that love is really a balance between the two extremes set by the two groups.

Ok, the two perspectives. The first one is that love is the answer to everything. No matter what a person says or does, the right thing to do is always to love them. They believe that love means looking past and beyond every poor decision, sin, and to never be judgmental. After all, we can’t walk in their shoes. People with this understanding of love stand on the conviction that this view of love and their treatment of people eliminates errors though it’s strength and ability to overcome. Love is the answer. Some Christians take it as far as to sound like a certain group from the 70’s that spoke of peace and love, man. The people who truly live this love are admirable in so many ways, the ability to overlook wrongs and the heart of compassion and mercy is an amazing testament to their obedience to do what they believe is right in complete disregard of conflicting pressures. They completely go against the grain of the culture that drives like a machine to find and fix problems—even in people.

The other perspective is the converse of the first one. These people like to fix sin and people. This frame of mind is one that seeks to build and design love in life and in the lives of others though disciplined head-on collision with errors, confronting them one by one and eliminating them. There is no mercy for sin. A thief should be punished so that the pain of his actions will testify strongly against the error and thereby persuade a change in heart. Righteousness may be a gift from God, but as God’s children we have an obligation to be righteous in word and deed. If we are dead to sin, then sin must be put to death with prejudice—and quickly too. If we are sanctified by God, we should not take God’s commands lightly and we should be fully sanctified in our actions and thoughts. Anyone who sins may be treated as sin, and whatever is necessary to defeat the sin—that is necessary. This frame of mind is honest and upfront about sin, and courageously confronts sin in all forms to weed it out.

We’ve all seen both of these views of love and seen the value of each in different circumstances. From the Bible we know that Jesus did the will of his Father perfectly. In all things he submitted himself to God to the point of death on the cross. So then, looking at Jesus should show us what love looks like. Jesus’ life if painted would be a portrait of perfect love. It so happens that we have a portrait of that life though the gospels that illustrate vividly the love that God intends for us to have in our own lives. Let’s take a look at that picture.

I recommend reading the gospels as books sometime if you never have. The Bible was not originally diced up in bite sized verses and chopped into chapters. It was written as books. Short books albeit in many cases, but still books and I don’t think that reading a few verses here and there is ever going to reveal God’s wisdoms that he wants to speak to us in the scripture. Reading and meditating on verses and chapters is certainly important. God’s word is highly complex and requires the attention to detail that studying it provides, but it’s also important to take a step back and look at the word as a whole from time to time.

When we take that step back and look at love from a distance in the gospels, what does Jesus’ life tell us that love is? Some like to point out that he did not throw the first stone. Others after reading the same passage will point out that he told her to sin no more. Some will point out that Jesus would eat with sinners that others would not dare to, then people will point out the way that Jesus spoke to the Pharisees and the Sadducees is very harsh and correcting—even condemning at times. Either saying that Jesus walked around and just harshly judged people all the time is not the full story, and neither is the idea that Jesus accepted everyone as they were and that was fine no matter what they did he would be their friend. When the rich man walked up to Jesus and asked what was keeping him from getting into the kingdom of heaven, Jesus didn’t say, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll forgive you even if you do love money more than me. It’s fine.” No, Jesus confronted the man on the issue. But also notice that he didn’t beat the man over the head with the guilt. He told him what he needed to do, and the man went away sorrowful because he was so rich and didn’t want to give it up. Jesus softly told the man what was necessary. Presumably the man went away and did not do what Jesus had told him he needed to do.

In an odd way, love does not always trump sin. Jesus was loving to everyone and he still ended up being tortured and murdered horribly on a cross with criminals—who he also loved. Jesus maintained his stance and devotion to God and the Truth. He spoke that truth to people and asked them to listen to take its guiding hand and walk in the Truth. He tolerated sin in people offering forgiveness to those who had the heart to repent, but he did not simply accept sin. However, he rejected sin most usually in a calm and respectful way that would lead people to repentance rather than leave them recoiling for shelter.

Being loving is very difficult and takes wisdom and discernment. God says in James to pray if we need wisdom and He will give it to us. We will never have a simple guide that tells us what to do in every possible scenario. Rather, the right thing to do is to allow the spirit of God to guide our hearts and direct our minds in accordance with God’s will. That is the short and simple answer. We need at all times the knowledge and wisdom of God working within our hearts and minds to guide us into a proper walk in love.

In the end, neither perspective is wrong and neither is right. Rather, being loving is a complex mixture of both attitudes depending on the situation. Rather than look for a simple guide to how to treat everyone—look to God to supply you with the wisdom and discernment to act in love. He can and will direct your heart.

Gentle Controversy

Controversy is a sea that we are always treading in. For some it’s worse than others, but everyone is constantly immersed in controversy, political, social, or religions controversy. All we can do is deal with it, or alternatively resign ourselves to a life as a hermit. As a Christian, I look at the controversy from a Biblical standpoint with the aim of understanding the proper way to handle the controversy.

There seems to be two general ways of coping with controversy, either not caring and staying as oblivious and un-opinionated as possible or to go overboard and to personally seek out and to allow the controversies to consume a large part of time and focus. Most people are not in either category entirely, those are extremes. However, both mindsets are wrong in a Biblical sense—which I hold is the only way that should even be considered a viable option--even for non-Christians, the advice the Bible gives is not going to hurt you. Controversy should never take center-stage in our lives. Our focus ought always to be to Love God with everything we have. Our relationship with God is paramount to everything else. However, as I said earlier, we still encounter controversy, and God has not left us uninformed on how He expects us to behave when faced with controversy.

In the Second letter of Timothy, there are some very pertinent passages explaining the way that God desires us to handle controversial discussions.

2Ti 2:23  "Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels.

2Ti 2:24  And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil,

2Ti 2:25  correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth,

2Ti 2:26  and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.

Does this resonate with you at all? Have you ever found yourself wrapped up in a “foolish, ignorant controversy?” I know I have. I should have nothing to do with that. It should be disgusting to me.

But why, why is it wrong to get overly involved in that type of controversy? It says in verse 26, it’s to help our opponent. That’s right, it’s God’s will to try to help our opponent. God is on our side, and that means that He expects us to love our opponents—enemies.

This does not mean that we are to be weak and allow our opponents to say and do whatever they want. It does say to “correct” our opponents--but in a “gentle” way. Do you see the message here? God does not want us to be rude and mean and petty in our quarrels, but he does not say to avoid quarrels either. Rather, when you find yourself in a situation that requires you to correct someone else who is wrong about God, do it in a kind and gentle way so that they may escape from the devil’s snares.

It sounds so very simple, but trying to put this knowledge into a mode of heart that guides us is more complicated than cooking your average microwave dinner. It takes extensive focus and determination to go beyond your view of things and to hold fast to God's view when confronted and offended. It is possible though, and it is right and worth the effort. God will pay you back for your devotion to Him, and people will pay you back by seeing the true desire and love that you have for them and for God. If that is what people see when they see you, and if that is what people hear when they talk to you, then you will have given the best argument for your perspective.

The I Complex

I recently was thinking about a personal problem of mine, and trying to come up with a solution to it when it struck me that the problem was not a problem of my circumstances as mush as it was as problem of the way I viewed me in relation to my circumstances. The whole problem was that I was viewing people as objects to make me feel the way that I want to feel. In other words, I was thinking about other people in a selfish way. People are not meant to be used for the purpose of I, but to fulfill the purpose of I. People are not here to make me happy or to provide to me what makes me happy. That is simply using people, and it’s only a matter of time before the realization strikes that people are being used, and that will correctly cause a sense of guilt. We can’t demand any of the things that are truly important to us. We cannot demand love, kindness, respect, friendship, or a time commitment from others. We do not have the right. We are free to do what we please, but only with ourselves in ways that affect ourselves.

So then, what to do? Rather than thinking of a personal need and wanting others to supply that need, look at others and see how you can supply their personal needs. Rather than wanting someone to be something for you, want to be something to them. Try to work hard to help them.

It comes down to the statement, to give is gain. That statement sounds so foreign and backwards often because of the way our minds have grown accustomed to thinking backwards. However, there is nothing odd about that statement at all. And we naturally tend to think about that statement in a material sense, as in giving money or belongings to those who need, but the statements should really apply to all things. It is gain to give time, energy, love, thoughts, a word of encouragement, a compliment, and thousands of other things to others. People don’t really need material things here in America where we are drowning in our possession, they need things that we are. We should strive to become for others what they need. Who knows, maybe if peoples personal needs such as love, kindness, friendship were fulfilled by others more often, then there would be less of a draw to make ourselves feel better by buying things.

In all of this I am saying don’t try to fix yourself with things and people. Try to be what others need. Don’t try to make a friend, try to be a friend. Don’t try to make someone love yo, find someone who you can be love for. Don’t try to earn kindness, give away kindness. When you do, you have given to others and have opened up room to receive, but that can't be the goal but a byproduct.

Make it Count

Among the many other people yet to show, Clara Tribeck was one. She had said she would be at the party by nine at the latest. She was not always one to keep her word, but hopefulness had led one particular heart to conclude she would be there early if anything. For months now, he had been noticing her. She was the type of person that he could not just get over. She was a personality that grabbed his attention from across a room, in a reflection off a window, or through a thin office wall that could not contain her laughter. She was the type of person that drew him in faster and faster the more he learned of her. She was richly complex and intricate, yet perfectly honest and tangible. She was not so perfect that she was out of reach, but she was neither a simple everyday run-of-the-mill type of girl. She was predictably spontaneous and lively, wide smiles and lively eyes that scanned with cunning cheerfulness an entire room.

She was perfect except for the single reason that she seemed uninterested in him. It was not that they had never talked, it was that she seemed distant and refrained from him while with others her typical warmth surfaced. Like any man interested in a women, each time he saw her his heart reminded him that he needed to know more about her. One several occasions he had tried to start conversations that apparently never happened without some effort, and none of them ever got beyond awkwardly forced discussion of meteorological discrepancies for the season that ended abruptly and thankfully when interrupted by another colleague.

Hundreds of thoughts churned in his mental stomach, but he could never digest. It was so tempting to give up, but she was simply too much not to think about. So, standing to the side of the room thinking the same thoughts over and over but always arriving at the beginning of the process, he waited.

A glance at his watch revealed that she was indeed absent when the time for her to be present had arrived. An uneasy anxious disappointment grew. Suddenly, the voice, her voice, and saying his name! She was there and she was speaking to him.

*              *              *

Turning around quickly but not too quickly she was standing there stunning.
“Are you looking for someone?” she asked coolly.

“Well, not anymore” came the words perfectly and unexpectedly. I let my eyes rest on hers gently. After a moment’s pause, I again added, “Not anymore…”

She had already had a first and several other impressions of me, all of them very similar and awkward. But, in reality this was the first time we had met. I had finally given up on the idea of making the perfect impression and was milling to make my impression.

A few seconds moved out of the way as her eyes reevaluated me in the new light. Still not sure that she had read what I was implying she decided to play it safe. “Is there something that I missed at work today? Is there something that you want to ask me?” she said moving the words along with a tone and pace that allowed room to be read into them.

I had an opportunity to abandon my honesty once more and pretend. But, I wanted to be bold. There are many times in life where being bold is right. This was a time where being bold was the only way to know the answer to the question we all ask: “what if”.

“No, nothing about work. I was waiting for you. I’ve been hoping to talk to you, actually since the first time I saw you.”

Her expression changed from the casual one of uncertainty to one of “go on,” so I did.

“I’ve been trying to meet you, but every time I seem to get in the way. Can you pretend like you have never met me before?”

She was not entirely caught off-guard by my attention, after all she was beautiful and more, and this was not the first time that someone had been interested in her.

Pausing briefly and then answering my question while grinning she said, “I don’t believe we’ve met before, I’m Clara.”

Finally, the smile I’d been hoping for.

“No, I don’t believe we have,” then I added, “I’m sure I would have remembered. I am Chris.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you. I think you’re the Chris that I’ve heard so much about”

“Do you dance?”
“I’d love to.”

“I wasn’t asking if you want to. I was asking if you can.”

“Oh, well, yes I can then, in that case. Too bad no one is around to dance with”

“I can’t dance well, but I can’t think of anything I’d rather do than dance poorly with you”

So we danced, danced for an hour in silence. Perhaps I didn’t dance well, but our eyes were so caught up in each other’s that I doubt either of us would have noticed if had we been standing there, and maybe we were.

They called the final dance. Taking her hands once more step by step we moved together. There was something her eyes were saying something that I don’t think she herself knew they were saying, and my eyes must have been saying it too. As the song played its final few measures we found ourselves in a kiss, and then another small kiss, a smile, and then a look of surprise.

Surprisingly often, the things we need the most are the things that scare us the most, hurt us the most, heal us the most. Not every tear is one of joy, but not every tear is one of sorrow either. Life made as we make it, so make it count.

Stop God's Lights from Dimming

The statement is a favorite Christian obsession, “To be saved is a simple confession”

But the goal of life never really was salvation, or a form of soul consolation

The end-goal of life is not just one decision that sidesteps the ultimate collision

It’s great to confess and to have believed, but being a Christian is more than having received

God’s gift is meant to share, for us to be giving; it’s a gift that should change the way we’ve been living

The love that’s been poured into our hearts puts us in a place of responsibility to do our parts

Yes we have God’s mercy, love, and grace, but that should not blind us to the pain on a stranger’s face

We’ll fight and argue ‘cause we have the truth to prove, but how often does God's love make us move?

All of our words say we love our Father, but when it comes time to show it, we don’t bother

Jesus paid our debt with one final sacrifice, we accept his gift but then reject his advice

It sounds like I’m pointing fingers and condemning, but we are God’s lights—and we're dimming

Where is the fight, the fervor, the fire to push back, we’re in a war to win the world that’s under attack

Jesus was not a pacifist sitting in standby, he set the example for us to both live and die by

He was willing to stand up for those who were lost, push-back and clear away the cold religious frost

How do we serve when we don't want to make a truth stand? Why don't we do more than take from God's hand?

Independent of Mind

Motivating a change in someone is seemingly impossible. There is a nature to cling to whatever we have been doing regardless of the consequences. Why do criminals continue to do the very same thing over and over again even when they know it will only lead to the same conclusion? Why do some people fall in and out of relationships with people when they know that they have not yet had enough time with the person to know if he or she is worth committing anything more than the time it takes to walk away to? It is possible to build new good habits, to strengthen the default nature of your actions, but it requires work. The work is a work of the mind, a discipline to reach for a way that is foreign and unnatural, that seems wrong but is right beyond the appearance of the surface.

But it seems that very few people have the internal strength, the fortitude of mind to control their thoughts long enough to establish new habits. It seems that most people are crazy, their minds leap to and from thought and action without the conscience guidance of present thought. They very truly claim freedom and independence—independence from control—and so operate autonomously both of the input of others and also themselves. Everyone does this from time to time on certain things. I catch myself doing things that a moment after doing them reveals that it was just a ridiculous habit.

We often look at people who are OCD with a downward glance because they are compelled to do things irrationally because of a habit of mind. Yet, people who habitually gripe, complain, and condemn people in a busy-body gossip-behind-their-back sort of way are viewed as empathetic friends often enough. People who routinely lie, curse, are lazy, spend all day watching TV, thinking about themselves, and on and on the list goes—those people are just normal functioning people. But, if we clear our eyes of the socio-cultural bias that gums them up, it’s clear that there is really something terribly wrong.

And people know better. People know that there is a divide between where they are and where they ought to be. Being one way through ignorance and by being misled is one thing that is sorrowful enough, but when people are made aware of the fact that they are a way that they should not be and have the ability to change if that is what they truly want to do and choose not to, that is a tragedy. That is giving up on life and the possibilities that life has for every single person if they dare to be who they are supposed to be rather than who they find themselves to be.

If I found out that I was addicted to TV and it was eating up my life hour by hour, it would certainly be a little distressing, but not shameful. Blindly falling into a pit is not noble of course, but compared to finding oneself in a pit and choosing not to take the effort to climb out—that is shameful.  

More than likely, reading this will not cause you to take one single step to address your habitual errors. More than likely, life has already beat you. Not your life, that will never beat you, but the life that you have been taught. That life has probably already won. Most people don’t have the energy or passion to take charge of life. It’s easier but less rewarding to pull up a lawn-chair and watch as lies live, at least for most people.

I don’t know about you, but I’m willing to make the effort to change. I’m willing to take control of my life, and to take responsibility for life. Maybe you are OK with putting a mediocre effort into life, only partly in-charge. Not me. For me, I have a purpose in life. My life has a meaning and when I see that I am not accomplishing that meaning, it angers me and distresses me and I will fight until death. My life is worth the effort to live it. I hope your life is too—I know it is. Everyone has a purpose even if they don’t care to live it. If you try to get me to do the things that you are doing, and to think like you, I will walk away from you with a sadness that you are unwilling to live in your worth.

Even if you are motivated to take action now, in an hour, a day, a week, even a month, you will probably surrender to the pressures of ease and slip back under the warm familiar covers of an error habit. I hope it’s comforting for you. I don’t feel sorrow for you though, and don’t expect me to. You are responsible. Your life is for the most part the sum of your decision—and you are responsible for those. 

A Life Hidden

Every painful hurt-filled memory,

Reminds me of a past I can’t bear to see

I want to stop running and escape

The life that I try to leave behind

The guilt has been too heavy to lift,

the darkness keeps on clouding my mind

I want to leave the past where it belongs

And let light sink in where it’s long been gone

I remember a distant few words

From so far away I’d forgotten that I’d heard

Faintly at first the words rush to mind,

Take hold of my heart and speak to me

“It was Christ who died to set you free

From yourself and guilty suffering”

“The record of wrong has been pardoned”

I have nailed your guilt to the cross”

 “Your life is hidden with Christ in God”

The Lord gives you your inheritance”

“The blood of redemption has been shed

Forgiveness is part of your past now”

That's How You Will Know

I’ll keep looking for you always,

I don’t know where I’ll find you,

But I’ll find you I’m sure

I’ll know I’ve found you when I do,

I’ll know I found you because…

You will be realizing you found me too

We will be together a moment of realization

We’ll take each other’s hands,

And freely give each other our heart’s

We won’t be afraid to let love grow,

And love will thrive

We will be surprised at how quickly and how strongly love will grow

That’s how I’ll know I’ve found you,

I’ll quit thinking about I and think about us

Wherever there was a thought of me,

There will be a singular word—we

You won’t have to wonder if I do,

But I won’t ever grow tired of telling you

That’s how you will know you found me

I won’t be flawless, but I’ll be yours,

I will be sorry when I say I am

And, I’ll tell you you’re wrong if you are,

I won’t pretend either of us is perfect,

And I won’t pretend that you need to be for me to love you

I’ll hold you when you cry,

But it will hurt me inside to see

I’ll be jealous for you,

Think about you until it’s time to dream about you

I’ll fight for you, be on your side even if you’re not

I’ll love you for who you are,

See beauty where people see flaws

That’s how you will know that you have found me

That’s why you need to keep looking

They will know that we found each other when they see us together

It will be as clear as the ringing of church bells

The was me make each other smile,

And the way we talk together

When I ask you the question,

When you tell me yes,

That’s how they will know that we have found each other

Wherever you are, I’ll be searching for you

One day I’ll tell you in person,

I love you

On that day you will know it’s me